I had my breasts removed to fit how I feel inside -- like someone beyond genders

By Page McBee

March 14, 2011

http://www.salon.com/life/gender/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2011/03/14/neither_man_nor_woman

In June of 2008 I woke up in a surgery recovery room in San Francisco with a man's chest. I couldn't see it yet, of course. My torso was bruised and bandaged after the three-hour procedure and drains dangled wildly at my sides. My breasts sat idly, waiting for pickup in the biohazard bin in the cold operating room. A nice nurse gently held me down as I tried to stumble out of bed, slurry but clear in my ambition to get out and on with my new life: created, like my unicorn body, with a big-hearted hope that I could be both of this world and fully myself. 

I'd bought a whole new wardrobe of tight men's T-shirts I knew I'd be proud to wear in the days ahead and that's pretty much all I'd planned. Living in the Bay Area, I was lucky enough to be surrounded by transgender and queer people, but many of them assumed I'd be transitioning genders. I hadn't decided if I wanted to begin hormone therapy and become a man. I also hadn't anticipated how complicated it would be not to.