The Expat Files - 06/01/11

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- Deforestation; when a family affair becomes a national pastime. 

- When bored Expats get the “Green Acres” syndrome. Buying land in the boonies and things to look out for.  

- The logic of thieves, and how Latins (including your own employees) justify stealing from you.

- How the hardwood tree stealing business works... And since just one tree is worth up to $15k, business is excellent (but the trees sure ain't what they used to be). 

- Squatters and squatter’s rights, land invasions, and trespassing (on your land).  

- Only in Latin America! Another twisted Costa Rican land scam revealed.

The Expat Files - 05/30/11

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- The common minimum wage slave down here ($6 a day) may never operate a clothes dryer, a microwave oven, or a garbage disposal unit, but he/she has a cell phone or two, a debit card and can work an ATM machine with the best of them.

- Expats and credit cards; those killer interest rates (30 to 70% annually), how banks get away with it, and what to do about it.

- Basic math ignorance (i.e. innumeracy) is alive and well and getting worse (just like up north).

- More on the odd Latin sense of humor.

- English teaching jobs for Expats continued... How to find them. 

The Expat Files - 05/25/11

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- The underground (informal) economy, and how Latin governments lie about their employment figures (just like the USA does).   

- More miserable Latin Public school system facts, and why you NEVER want to teach English there (or send your kids there for that matter).  

- Comparing Latin universities with 1st World universities. 

- A wide open market; A million English teaching jobs for Expats, some formal, some not. How every day want ads read something like this…

“English Teachers Wanted for Exclusive Private School”, No experience necessary, Spanish language skills a plus, but not necessary. Bachelor’s degree required (but don’t worry, even a throw-away one will do; like political science, drama, or sociology).

- Whats a TOEFL exam?... And why every upwardly mobile Latin person dreams of passing it (but few do).

The Expat Files - 05/23/11

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- A warning against using carpets and rugs. 

- The grossness of hotel rooms (i.e., be wary of hotel beds).

- Expats working, it’s mostly illegal, but most everyone does it! Work permits, and what to do if you get caught working without one.

- Typical, easy to get jobs that are always available to Expats.

- Bar and restaurant tricks, and why, as the night goes on, clients don't get what they pay for.

- The national sport - tax evasion. 

- Why Latin governments prefer Expat business owners over local ones.

The Expat Files - 05/18/11

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The Lost Art Of Politeness, Manners, And Good Samaritanism (and is samaritanism a real word?):

- A genuine politeness gene is alive and well and living in Latin America.   

- Where kids in public places are actually under control (just like the good old days in your country). How and why Latin kid’s respect for elders differs so much from their 1st World counterparts.

- Ritalin and other kiddie behavioral management drugs? Kid management drugs haven’t landed down here… yet! (thank Buddha). 

- Why Latins on the street, so eager to please, will often give you very bad directions.

- Good Samaritans, car trouble, dialing 911, and the value of basic liability auto insurance.    

- 10 reasons why Latin America is NOT at all a good place to raise your kids (even though they have some excellent private grade schools, K-12).

The Expat Files - 05/16/11

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A Visit To A Latin American Pharmacy:  

- Get every medicine you can get up north, plus, a thousand teas, brews, roots, animal parts and herbal concoctions you’ve never heard of. Need some powdered rattlesnake rattle? … ask and you shall receive.  

- Why generic drugs down here are always 50% cheaper (or even more) than generics in the 1st world (but can you trust them?).

- Need a powerful drug or refill? No prescription necessary (no kidding). If so, then why isn’t everyone and his brother walking around like a lifeless zombie?  

- Where pharmacists aren’t really pharmacists and doctors don’t play golf.

- Spanish vs English drug names. What are druggists selling and how do you know what to ask for?

The Expat Files - 05/11/11

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Dishonest Road Contractors, The Cost of Living, Farming, Fertilizer and More:

- Market madness, the art of buying fresh food and produce.

- Why shifting to granulated nitrogen fertilizer (petroleum based) is having a lasting negative effects on farming and the farmers themselves.   

- How the ruling party buys elections with your 1st world donations.

- Why LA governments love 1st World infrastructure donations, but hate the specialists sometimes sent to oversee the projects.     

- Why new LA roads go so bad so fast and why everyone in the know clams up when you talk about it.

The Expat Files - 05/09/11

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Think that 1st World Republicrats are Corrupt? You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet: 

- Why in lovely Costa Rica, the “Switzerland of Latin America”, are three of the last five Presidents in jail or fugitives in exile?        

- Why is it so common that deposed, indicted and disgraced Latin presidents live the life of Donald Trump (but with normal hair) while exiled in some neighboring Banana Republic?      

- The reasons that cowardly and corrupt Latin judges just roll over like pet Chihuahuas whenever politicians face charges in their courts.

- Legal tricks lawyers use and how they strive to make trials drag on forever (or at least until the next election cycle).

- Why white collar crime pays (and why in fact crime just pays in general).

- More tips on guarding and waterproofing your valuables at the beach.

- Yet another annoying car theft scam that you just won’t believe. 

The Expat Files - 05/04/11

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Some 3rd World Survival Tips, The Cost of Living, Emails and more:

- More cost-of-living examples that will surely make you want to move here.  

- Expat cinema, video store and DVD experiences (both legit and pirate).

- Slick tricks to try when there’s no water in the restroom (no, and I don’t suggest using your shirttail, yuk!). 

- An Expat Traveler’s arsenal- some cheap, common things you should always carry or have on hand, (no, I’m not talking firearms here) that make life a lot easier down here.

- The present state of recycling garbage in LA, (ha! ha!). 

- A tiny secret weapon for survival, that you hope you never have to use.

The Expat Files - 05/02/11

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General Safety Tips;    

- What’s wrong with my theme song, ‘Down Mexico Way? Well, for one thing, I don’t. recommend living, working, playing, and/or retiring in Mexico! But I guess I just like the song.

- In S. America, they have refrigerator/freezers that run on a propane gas flames and use no electricity whatsoever (Hey, are you pulling my leg?), and they’re great.

- What's the most dangerous place in Latin America? Would you believe the kitchen? 

- Buying and using household appliances down here.

- The four kinds of vehicles on the road that you never, ever, want to drive behind, and why.

The Expat Files - 04/27/11

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Road Hazards, Car Problems and 3rd World Driving Survival tips:

- Pickups, 4x4’s, and other macho vehicles we recommend that you drive.

- Why lightly used luxury sports cars are so very cheap down here (and why only entitled kids of rich idiots drive them).     

- Tumolos (i.e., speed bumps on steroids), and other car pulverizing Latin road hazards, and how to deal with them.  

- Driving Latin style; where tailgating is a way of life, and rear-end collisions trump all other smashups.     

- Two different ways to get a Latin driver’s license; the cheap, normal way (by way of a driving test), and the slightly more expensive grey market away(by way of cash money).

The Expat Files - 04/25/11

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FOOD PRICES, the COST OF LIVING, and more on BANKS;    

- Kicking your addiction to 1st World specialty items and why buying locally produced stuff is both smart, and cheap.   

- Cooking with gas, electricity, or wood. Yes, half the people down here still use wood! (and you’re wondering where the rainforest went?).  

- High fructose corn syrup, and why it hasn’t caught on down here (thank Buddha).     

- The many ways a simple 2x4 framing stud down here beats its 1st World equivalent hands down. - When crime pays; Bank robberies in Latin America, and why just YOU might get robbed right outside of your bank.

The Expat Files - 04/20/11

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The Right Car To Drive, Car Theft, and How To Deal With Traffic Cops - Part 2:

- When thieves steal your car and negotiate over the phone.

- Why there are so many hit and run accidents (er,… I mean the other guy actually running away on foot!). 

- How and why a collision can be 100% your fault, and NOT your fault at all!

- Expats, breathalyzers, drinking and driving and the state of the DUI laws.

- Expats, radar, and speed traps.

- Why 1st World safety violations don’t mean a thing down here.

- Why the Macho society kicks into high gear when women Expats face the cops, and/or the legal system.

- Why Expats bearing small gifts make for big favors when dealing with cops.

The Expat Files - 04/18/11

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The Right Car To Drive, Car Theft, and How To Deal With Traffic Cops - Part 1:    

- Why it’s smart for Expats to “temporarily” go native (when it comes to cars).   

- Why Police roadblocks are everywhere, and they love stopping Expats.

- What to do when you get pulled over and they search your vehicle (illegally).

- The fine art of bribing the police, and why you won’t have to ask (they will).

- When cops bond with Expats, just play along (and try not to laugh).

- A simple $5 way for Expats to totally foil a car thief.

The Expat Files - 04/13/11

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Electric Utilities, Power Outages, Part 2,

- Your undecipherable utility bills part 2…  just like in the 1st World, only worse (since they’re in Spanish).

- How Expats handle power outages.

- Where and why power outages do and don’t occur… And it’s not just a roll of the dice.

- The truth about portable generators, and what you’ll really need in a pinch down here.         

- Total 3rd World energy self sufficiency? Can Expats really get off the grid and stick it to the oil companies (well, almost, but not yet).