The Expat Files - 11/8/11

- A word on Googling the major daily newspapers in your Latin country of choice (they’re in Spanish of course) and how to easily translate them. But they also have English language ones. And here’s the scoop on those rags!

-In tourist areas like Costa Rica and Panama, certain very telling news articles (in Spanish) never hit the English papers because they unmask local governments for what they really are, malignant. The advertisers figure prospective tourists mustn’t have too big a reality dose, it would hurt business.

-DYK that during election time Latin American candidates not only get the usual crank phone calls and death threats (like they do in the 1st world)? They actually get kidnapped in large numbers and a few get murdered (by the opposition party)! Candidates take elections very seriously down here not because have any desire to help their country; rather, everyone knows the guy who wins has a license to steal and seriously enrich his friends and family.

-The bureaucratic saga of one nice lady who tried her damndest to donate blood to a public hospital in Lima Peru, to no avail.  

-Another surefire Expat business opportunity explained. One with a very low capital outlay and with guaranteed 1st World profits     

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The Expat Files - 11/2/11

-The dirt on LA beggars, bums, vagrants and street performers. They’re on street corners in all the big cites (but almost nonexistent in small LA towns). So how do you handle the throng when they rush your car? After all, you’re a real live 1^st Worlder with deep pockets and an obvious soft touch.

-Some valuable tips on how, when and where to hand out your spare change to the needy (if you’re so inclined). 

-Describing the LA retirement safety net for locals. Believe it or not, most LA countries they do have rudimentary Social Security systems. They actually exist, but in name only, and the payouts run from $25 to $100 a month. But they’re horribly managed and chronically looted every time a new administration comes into power (and those pathetic little checks occasionally bounce).

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The Expat Files - 11/1/11

The Expat Files - 10/26/11

- The continuing misadventures of Expat Eddie. More on how a completely unexceptional guy like him turned $2000 into a million plus by just applying some basic 1st World standards to 3rd world businesses (and by not reinventing the wheel) 

- Expat Eddie’s first “embassy party” and the powerful Banana Republic Air Force general that took a shine to him (and the ensuing fallout of that affair) 

- A new twist on LA hooker business and big city LA nightclubs; how certain officials mix business with pleasure

- A QUIZ; 

Q: What should you do when you find out your nice, rich, new neighbor next door happens to be a big time criminal? 

A: Invite him to a Sunday barbecue of course! (this is Latin America after all)

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The Expat Files - 10/25/11

- How to prepare for the Spanish speaking world before you dive in 

- Dealing with how the locals speak. Unraveling some very common slang terms. You can be certain the locals won’t speak the kind of Spanish you were taught at night school (or high school) 

- Having that “taah da!” moment: when your brain finally begins to translate things in your head automatically. Suddenly listening to people talk is no longer hard work and there’s no more mental fatigue…taah da! 

- When local and national disasters strike, Latins don’t panic or whine to the government. When a road washes out or a bridge collapses local civilians just call a few neighbors, get a few shovels and picks and get to work on it themselves. Because they know the government won’t get on it for days (unless it’s impeding some blowhard bureaucrat’s daily drive home)

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The Expat Files - 10/19/11

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More on the cost of living– how to judge the cost of living in an LA city or country by examining its major daily newspapers   

Newspapers are not dying in LA like they are up in the 1^st World. They’re alive and well but they pay their workers peanuts. Even full time reporters with advanced college degrees often live with their moms and dads for years since the average reporter makes about $3-400 a month  

Finding a Spanish translator Part 2. What about those amazing pocket translators and hi-tech voice recognition devices? Do those things really work? If so, then why hire a flesh-and-blood translator for a hundred a week (unless she’s Miss Venezuela) when you can get it all translated by Android app? We’ll tell you why.

A word about Google translate, a free service that’s free, very simple to use, and really handy.

Be a junk gold and silver broker in LA; another great Expat business opportunity explained in detail and that involves almost no startup costs but has 1^st World monetary rewards written all over it

The Expat Files - 10/18/11

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The lowdown on the three LA countries that are trying like mad to tax and spend their way into 1^st world status; Argentina Costa Rica and Chile   

How the Costa Rican traffic authority has instituted an extremely lucrative means of gouging drivers, especially directed at tourist drivers.

The ins and outs of LA property taxes, and the specific heavy handed case of Chile. How Chile soaks its property owners, 1^st world style; and many more reasons why Chile is not a good bet for those frugal Expats who want to get away from big brother and live the simple life.

The Expat Files - 10/12/11

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What about Belize? They speak English there, so it must be a good pick for Expats, right? Well, it’s not my cup of tea but …

The obvious racism in Costa Rica that tourists never see (and its deep, deep, roots). 

Racism and prejudice on steroids, that’s a fact of life in LA and practically no one does a thing about it. But what about 1^st World Black Expats or persons of color (other than tourists) who decide to come down long term or permanently? Do they still have that all important “Gringo Advantage” we talk so much about… or not? 

Beauty pageants in LA; one of the four national pastimes (the others being soccer, tax evasion, and software/DVD/clothing pirating) and how racism rears its ugly head even among beauty queens

The further misadventures of Expat Eddie and his runway model girlfriend (i.e., how did a crazy guy like him ever end up with a down-to-earth beauty like her?)

The Expat Files - 10/11/11

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Those scary LA murder and crime stats, how crime statistics mislead, and how to really compare them to crime in the US and the rest of the 1^st World.

LA crime statistics reported in the 1st World media don’t even begin to tell the real story and are just downright confusing. Here’s the real dirt crime and some specific LA examples.

What cleaning ladies and gardeners are saying about Expats behind their backs.

Expat Eddie takes a thieving employee to court - and loses! Why? Because he didn’t bother to bring his lawyer.

In LA its not enough to have proof and be in the right. You need your lawyer too- since you’re a rich 1st World guy and the thief is a poor downtrodden local (who just happens to need your Plasma TV and DVD player more than you do)

What are these things called passport embargos and arraigos? They are court orders that block you from leaving the country! How and why the LA courts can keep you from travelling, and why LAlocalscan get around that kind of order a lot easier than Expats can (but you can do it too if you know the tricks) 

The Expat Files - 10/05/11

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Real estate tricks your lawyer can work out with the seller that can save you (the buyer) thousands

The anomalous “Tramitador”. He’s your LA lawyer’s motorcycle ridin’ right-hand-man and the guy that‘s forever greasing the broken wheels of the legal system   

The best unknown money saving real estate trick of all (and this one’s 100% legal!)

How to buy property and/or own a business completely under the radar, and it’s perfectly legal too (er… it’s legal if you’re Latin).

The Expat Files - 10/04/11

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Real estate buying tips; how to slice ¼ off the already cut-rate LA property prices.

How 1^st Worlder’s get suckered into paying too much for LA properties (and are more than happy to do it!)

How to spot desperate Latin sellers when perusing the property ads.

Tips on buying farmland and rural properties

Why every big fish in LA (including the so-called educated “best minds”) think the economic slowdown that’s just now beginning to take shape down here is just a tiny blip in the normal business cycle. Which by the way, means us PRN listeners have a huge advantage over the average numbskull.

The Expat Files - 09/28/11

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Does your Spanish suck like mine did? The easy and the hard ways to learn Spanish the way the natives speak it; how to fumble along and still not get taken for a sucker.

Latin slang and regional Spanish accents and how to handle them   

The strange disconnected world of US embassy employees and their military adjutants- Part #1.        

Spanish immersion programs; and what it’s really like to live a month or so with a family that makes only 3 to 400 dollars a month. And a heads-up on some strange things that often go on in your host’s home.  

How to save 50% or more off the normal cost of a Spanish immersion program and other tips for 1^st World would-be Spanish learners.

The Expat Files - 09/27/11

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Dentistry in LA Part #3. Horror stories at the dentist (bad things that can happen before you even sit down in the chair) 

Obvious flaws you observe as your dentist and his co-workers try unsuccessfully to convince you that they are somewhat modern and almost 1st World. And why it’s so difficult for them to keep up to snuff and adapt to 1st World advances in the field

How to quickly spot 2nd tier dentists, the ones the service 80% of rank and file Latins, and why you must avoid them.

The Expat Files - 09/21/11

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Dentistry in LA Part #2. Comparing the 3 types of dentists you’ll encounter in LA, and their shortcomings. 

What Expat dentists and physicians really need to know if their dream is to jump off the 1st World treadmill (before that 2nd heart attack), and get a license to practice in LA.

Crisis dentistry; why even the wealthiest of LA movers and shakers have bad or missing teeth, poor hygiene and often hideous dentistry     

 

Double and triple appointment bookings? Well that’s the norm in LA dentist office, since 6 month checkup and cleaning appointments (and the hygienist guilt routine) have not caught on yet down here in any meaningful way (even with the moneyed classes)   

 

Want to know about the fluoride and mercury/amalgam filling debate in LA? That’s easy…, they’re absolutely clueless so there ain’t no debate at all!  

 

Decorative dental customs of the poor; including DIY Dentistry (where all you need is a pair of pliers, and some really big balls).

The Expat Files - 09/20/11

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For about a hundred dollars, most Expats can forever solve any water shortage problems in LA (the 1st World too), and easily cope with the increased rationing and H2O shutoffs imposed by those corrupt and terribly managed municipalities 

Expats doing conferences and seminars; Part #2, 101 tips and tricks for Expats thinking of doing seminars down here. How to be a success even if you have a stale, rehashed topic and don’t speak a lick of Spanish